Back to Blogging?

I miss it. I'm blogging for my work but that's just not the same. It was my intention to continue and just go private but clearly that didn't happen. The plan? I'm not sure.

Big Blog News

Hey All;

I've made a decision to make our blog private. Lots of factors going into that...no need to get into them. I would like to invite folks to send an email requesting an invitation and I'm happy to give you the password if you can tell me who you are, how you found me, and why you're following.

I also plan to start another, more anonymous blog for those of you who enjoy the read for a read's sake rather than to keep up on our family's meanderings.

Blogger only allows 100 invited readers, so in the unlikely case that I exceed that number of requests, I may switch to another host.

Hope you'll join me!

-Samantha
PS not to worry, invite requests will NOT be posted in the comments for the blog

FFF "Run" and sick again...

Julian was over the crud posted in the last post. And now he has a fever and cough- fresh crud. Dang thee, preschool! And Jon's parents are visiting. Will fill you in on that later. We've got a bunch of photos to download soon.

Anyone remember "Favorite Foto Friday?" I know it's Saturday, but the theme this week is "run" and I just have to post this photo again from December because it makes me smile every time.

Now Julian has the crud.

Julian came down with a cold and cough this weekend. He's doing okay but it's such a stress when every time he's sick we have the asthma to worry about. We went to see an allergist today to discuss Julian's eczema and asthma and he recommended that we try Singulair for him when he's sick. I'm hesitant due to some of the known side effects in children but we're considering it.

The spring has sprung here which is such a welcome relief from the months of dreary drizzle. Julian wants to eat all of our meals on the deck so we're in permanent picnic mode. It's pretty fun, I have to say.



We were walking to the coop the other day and Julian picked up a fluffy dandilion and started to blow on it. I asked "who taught you that?" Jon asked "did Heidi show you that?" (Heidi is our daycare provider.) Julian was concentrating on blowing all the fluff off and he responded "No, Barak Obama showed me." Lucky boy!

He's talking up a storm but still not getting the "tr" sound. It's more of a "fr" sound, which makes us giggle when he points out a truck to us.

Potty "training" is in full swing. I put training in quotes because Jon is anti-reward when it comes to most things, including this, so we are not exactly training. We waited until Julian was good and ready. He is in undies all day at home and has only had a few accidents so far. We're far from napping and sleeping in undies but close to heading out and about in them. Both school and daycare are on board so here we go! We probably spend almost $150 a month on diapers because we go with the flushable/biodegradable g-diapers so I won't be too bummed when he's out.

J helped me clean the windows. He looked up at me and said "I'm working really hard."













All the dishes were dirty so I gave Julian milk in a measuring cup. Is that inappropriate?













Which is real and which is Melissa and Doug (is the bite out of one a sure giveaway)?













And finally some photos of 'the farm' where we go to see the 'egg lady' and get fresh eggs. We spent a lovely 45 minutes getting shown around the farm, looking at the animals, and hearing te scoop about the goats (raised for meat) and the chickens (egg chickens except for the guy who comes every few weeks and picks out a few that he brings home then sells out of his garage for dinner) and the emu. We saw the stinky male goat pee on himself, and we saw the 'egg lady' inspect the orange slimy newborn goat poop very closely. I was very gracious and smiled sweetly, and as we pulled away I looked Jon and with that same sweet smile told him he couldn't pay me enough to ever, ever get out of the car there again. So much for the fantasy of retiring on a farm...it's city mouse all the way for me.

Soccer or Gymnastics?

I know I need to do a proper post. Can't deal now but I do need your opinion- soccer or gymnastics? We're already doing music and swimming if that affects your input.

Back to the land of the living.

I'm finally coming out of the woods here. I'm still tired, and I'm still coughing but I now just feel sick, not sick. I was able to hang out with my family a bit today, and I'm back to a tiny bit of organizing- that which makes me most me.

One of the things that I have been doing while home sick is stepping up my reading about raising a child of a different race. I personally feel that it is a big responsibility, making the choice to adopt internationally. Not only do we have the typical job of raising a healthy, happy child, but we have the job of making sure that we do the best job we possibly can of exposing him to his birth culture and then additionally supporting him as he faces the inevitable racism directed at him as a Latino man living in North America. Some days I wonder how on earth as a white girl raised in the burbs that I can even make a reasonable dent.

And then I take a deep breath. One step at a time. Step one is reading. Step two is thinking. Step three is acting. And for me, this means becoming an anti-racist parent. What may read to some as my 'losing my sense of humor' or 'overreacting' is an important choice I have made to not tolerate racist comments or jokes of any sort in my space, or my son's space. It means calling people out when they inadvertently (or deliberately) make a racist comment, and doing the best I can do personally to address my own racism that exists simply because of the culture within which I have been raised.

I recently started spending quite a bit of time on the blog called Anti-Racist Parent (I recommend this site to all of my readers with kids.) This week there was a link to a reading challenge called "Diversity Rocks!". It is a challenge to make a commitment to reading a certain number of books this year that were written by people of color. I challenge YOU to check it out and consider participating. Leave a comment if you decide to do it- I like to know that I'm in good company.

OK
Now for a few tidbits.

1. Julian keeps asking me if I'm better, then suggesting things that will make me feel better. One day I was sitting on the floor and he grabbed my head and moved it slowly back and forth. "Dat make you feel bedduh." The next night? "Kiss my foot mommy, dat make you feel bedduh." And today his offer? "You want my milky? Dat make you feel bedduh." So sweet.

2. Jon brought Julian to a birthday party that was at the local children's museum. There was a TV just at kid height showing Bob the Builder (no, we don't watch it) and when Julian saw it he ran at the TV, bounced off it, threw himself on the ground hysterical laughing, turned to his friend Megan and said "Megan, do this!" as he did it again. Megan looked at him like he was insane and Jon suddenly understood the innate difference between boys and girls.

3. Swim class continues to be a weekly event for Julian and Jon. Julian can now hold his breath and put his head underwater to blow bubbles. He lays on his back on the tub submerging his ears- just like I remember doing as a kid- everything sounds so cool like that.

4. Although Julian is a very good eater (knock on wood) I have been trying to slightly vary the foods he is being exposed to. I refuse to let his food allergies and sensitivities limit the breadth of his food options. Last night we had a Persian beef stew that someone made for us- containing garbanzo beans and cauliflower and flavored with, among other things, turmeric and lemon. He loved it. The night before we had brown rice pasta (our substitution) with a french lentil, carmelized onion and kale topping (we skipped the bread topping.) Another favorite lately is this simple recipe for roasted garlic green beans...I sprinkle them with truffle salt when they're done and call them "green bean french fries." Mmmm mmmm good!

5. My aunt sent Julian a package today. We handed it to him and he said "it's a hippo?!" I laughed and said "No, Julian, it's not a hippo, it's probably clothes." Well Julian opened the package and it was indeed clothing, including this hat and a sweatsuit with hippo zippers. Um...



And just for fun, one last shot.
Here I am with my mask on...feeding the elephant.


xo
s

Sigh.

OK I'm still sick. Took another trip to the ER (this time via ambulance) on Thursday because I had a spasm of my upper airway (called a laryngospasm) that greatly reduced my ability to get air in or out. It resolved pretty swiftly but the paramedics thought I should be checked out/monitored for a little while.

One of our friends is an OB resident at the hospital so she came down to make sure they were taking good care of me. Then her fiancé sat with me from 9pm-1:30am, and drove me home when I was released (since Jon was obviously home with Jules.) Thank you Eric and Laura!

No one is 100% sure why it happened but my voice had completely gone as of Thursday afternoon and was gone until this morning. The thought is that I was already inflamed and irritated and that some mucus (sorry mom) just got stuck and caused the spasm.

In any case it hasn't happened again, my voice is starting to come back, and I am feeling ever so slightly better (if 1 is horrible and 10 is great, I've been at a 3-4 and now could say I'm at a solid 5) albeit nowhere near normal. The coughing now comes in fits instead of all the time. My sinuses are much less painful. My fever is down to about 99. The muscles between my ribs are starting to relax a little bit.

I think that's all good!!

Julian is a trouper. He asks me every time he sees me if I'm better. I tell him soon, baby, soon.

There are lots of fun day to day things that Jon and Julian are up to...zoo, birthday parties, parks, the science museum (Jon is trying to keep Julian busy so I can rest) but I have no stories as I'm sadly missing it all. The good news though is that this too shall pass and we'll all find this to be a distant memory before we know it.

I have to say that I can't wait to post something a bit more uplifting.

Thanks to everyone sending love, and everyone offering help around here.

A few pics...

Julian took this. I LOVE the composition.


I accidentally erased the front shot of this. Jon was bummed.



I'll keep you posted.

xo
s

sorry no updates

i'm still really sick. yesterday was at the er with a fever of 102. today i see the infectious disease specialist at the university hospital. i am WORN OUT.

julian is coming down with what i pray is only a cold. jon has a big deadline on friday.

there are a few cute new photos but i can't even deal with uploading them right now.

please think good thoughts for me!

xo
s

And another update.

I'm starting to feel a bit better, but slowly. I cannot believe how this thing has hit me. I'll see a few patients tomorrow and hopefully be back up to almost regular schedule next week. The doctor said my lungs are clearing but I'm in a 'cycle' of coughing so she wants me to take codeine throughout the day to calm things down. I didn't want to at first but I have to say it is such a relief to stop coughing...SUCH a relief.

Julian is doing great, especially now that I can hang with him a bit. He was missing his mommy, for sure.

Jon is a rockstar, as usual, and is holding everything together while working and doing 100% of Julian duty. I am one lucky lady.

Thanks everyone for your well wishes, cards, etc. It means the world to me...

Here is our modern baby.

Update

It's been a long week but things are starting to look up.

I tend to be allergic to antibiotics and sure enough I had a reaction to the med that they gave me this time. I broke out head to toe in hives...on the palms of my hands, around my eyes, so many on my legs they all mushed into each other to become one giant hive. So they switched my antibiotic but I was on so much antihistamine (claritin AND 2 benadryl every 4 hours- still having breakthrough hives, by the way) that I was worried that I would have a reaction to the new antibiotic and wouldn't know it until it was too late. So I stopped and went back to the doctor. Turns out, after my doctor consulted with an infectious disease specialist and a pulmonologist that there is a simple blood test they are now doing to assess whether or not antibiotics are necessary.

I was on pins and needles as they decided if the level was low it meant I didn't need antibiotics, but if it was high I would have to check into the hospital for the new antibiotic so I could be monitored. It was low, thank god. (Too bad no one came up with that idea last week though...)

So now I'm looking at continuing the antihistamines until the hives are gone- 4-5 days probably, and resting until my lungs are better. My cough is still pretty bad but I don't feel like I'm drowning anymore. I'm heading home today and my mom will be here through the weekend (I am so incredibly grateful that she has been able to be here to help my boys...)

Thanks everyone for your calls, kind words, and thoughts.

xo
-s

Did I say "sick"? I meant SICK.

Tuesday I got sick. Thursday I went to the doctor. The flu swab was negative and I was relieved... for about 24 hours. My fever was still up around 101 (even on Advil) on Friday afternoon and I decided to order myself a chest x-ray 'just in case'. They were able to squeeze me in before they closed for the night.

Sure enough I have f*ing double pneumonia. My mom was still on the West Coast at my sister's in SF and she got on a plane and flew up here to help Jon. I am on strict orders to rest, with no work for another week. I was terrified that Julian would get sick, and I am in constant motion doing stuff at home so I actually checked into a hotel for a few days. It would be like an awesome vacation except for the pain in my chest, splitting headache, constant coughing and fever.

I'm spending my time reading, watching TV, and just plain thinking. Thinking about what is really going on that I would get this sick. Gonna need to be makin' some changes.

I'll ask Jon to gather some good J stories this week and I'll try to post. Don't count your chickens though- I'm busy resting.

Sick.

My advil has kicked in and my fever is down to just under 101. Can't even imagine creating an interesting post right now so I'll just post some pics. My mom was here this weekend and it was just amazing to see her with the boy. My heart just melted.

The elephant from my mom came in this box. Can't say which was a bigger hit. OK, the elephant was, but this was super cute.




Jon told Julian Becca was here to give mommy a massage just like he sometimes massages Julian's legs (restless boy at bedtime settles a bit with some leg massage) and Julian took one look at Becca and pulled his socks off and stuck out his feet. Too cute.



Visit with the girls and their boys.


Special delivery.


A recent art piece by Juilan. For real.

That Darn Flip

I have almost no photos since the last post. We keep grabbing the video instead of the camera. Turns out though that it takes a loooong time to upload the video so we may just pull that camera out more often. Here's an elephant march for y'all- it's a bit long but i can't figure out how to cut it yet, and the end is kind of cute (background: Edge is the name of our cat that we had to put down last year, Ellwyn is our living cat). Note the timing on the start of his marching...he's got it all dialed in.




We've started a new construction project at the house. We decided to put a bathroom in the basement and to sheet rock the concrete walls so it is a bit warmer and more comfy down there. We partially finished it a few years back and put down carpet tile to make a playroom.

Anyway, the contractors jack hammered out some foundation to find that we had a sewage pipe with a large hole that was LEAKING SHIT WATER INTO THE DIRT under the house. Ick ick ick! Oh, did I say ICK? We also found mold under all of the carpet tile. Also ick. It's going to add a pretty penny to the project to refinish all of the floors down there, but I'm glad to know we are getting it taken care of. A playroom with mold is potentially quite problematic for a boy with asthma.

So let's see, what else. Uncle Doug visited last weekend, my mom is coming this weekend, then a week break, then my sister is coming for a weekend, then about 3 weeks after that, Jon's folks. My dad wants to squeeze a trip in somewhere too...I'm tired just thinking about it. Good thing we love company around here!

When my mom is here this weekend she'll take care of Julian while Jon and I go to a fundraiser for an organization called Our House, a residential AIDS facility that Jon was lead architect for a few years back. The theme is Mardi Gras, and it is semi-formal. If anyone has outfit ideas, please let me know. My mother thought a thong and a mask might do it but we both decided that's not quite my style.

xo
-s

PS Do you think the (body text) font on this new layout is too small? Feedback, pleeze.

Yes yes I know.

It's been too long again. Work has been a bit consuming. One of my staff members is currently working both at the front desk and seeing patients (we all have lots of hats over there) and her husband won a vaca in Mexico. So she's gone for 2 weeks. Lots of slack for me to pick up. And then my other receptionist has been out of the office for personal reasons. In any case, here I am, once again apologizing for my tardy posting.

2 weeks ago we went to the mountain house. Jon designed this house for some very close friends of ours so we go there at least a few times a year. This time we went with said friends and had just a great time. Jon and I are doing our yearly 'detox' which means our diet is very limited. The great thing about this is we eat so much fresh and healthy food. No junk at all. We spent the weekend lolling about, eating fresh fish and roasted OG chicken, reading books, playing, chatting, lovely.

Julian reading us a book.


Julian "helping" Papi stretch.


First sled ride. Julian wasn't so sure...


Baby Nate giggles.


I just got a new flip video camera (our friend designed these...) so I have more video than photos of late. Will work on figuring out how to post. That's supposed to be the best part is how easy they are. I'll keep you posted.

Then last week Jacquie, Chase and Corbin came for a visit. We had so much fun but WOW can a 7 year old and 9 year old pair of brothers whip up the pace around here. It made me pretty confident that we're stopping at one.

Messing around on the couch.


OMG how cute is this? Julian is in LOVE.


And finally Julian had someone that would march with him over and over again.


More later...

FFF - "New"

We had Julian's final readoption ceremony at the courthouse.
Well more like a visit than a ceremony. I'm in a rush so just posting my FFF photo, will get to more details later!

He finally has his official NEW name.





For more Favorite Foto Friday, see Sarah's Blog. :)

When it rains it pours.

This morning I got to work and made my usual drink- green tea powder and vanilla hemp milk. When I got back to my office I had a few sips. It was really sour and just not right. So I walked back to the kitchen and took out the "milk." Rotten. Nasty. NASTY. I swore loudly. That's no news for anyone that knows me, even a little.

Little did I know that this would be the highlight of my day.

Around 1pm I got a sharp pain in my foot that dropped me to my knees. I have a nerve tumor that lives in my foot and has occasionally caused me some distress over the years (they were supposed to take it out during a prior foot surgery about 8 years ago but that's another bitch session altogether.) I could put NO weight on my foot. So after swearing loudly again I hopped and crawled around for the next few hours while my fabulous receptionist tried to track down some crutches. A lovely patient overheard and drove home to get me hers. Very sweet.

The day went on, not too stressful other than trying to do everything on crutches. I called the practice who did my surgery to get in for an appointment. Not only are there no appointments available for a month but if I want to see a different doc in the practice my prior surgeon (see above, grrr) has to give me permission. I asked the scheduler dryly what the point then would be of having a group practice but she didn't seem to understand the question. Again a few choice words flew- after I hung up, of course.

I finally get in my car to drive home- it's freezing cold and I'm juggling my bag and my crutches, almost falling on my ass getting into the car. Then about a half mile down the road I look at my dashboard and see a yellow light with an exclamation point. Hmmmm. I wait until I can pull over in a safe spot and pull out my manual. "Do NOT drive your car if this light is on." Um. OK?

Thankfully Jon was home and picked me up about half an hour later. I just left the car there. We'll see if we can get it towed to the shop before it starts getting tickets in the morning. I was safe and sound but very, very cold. The little mister was sobbing in the back seat "I want to get out" over and over again. Poor kid can't stand that car seat but c'mon I know he understands that he has to stay in it.

We arrive home and I go back to the bedroom to change.

I look over and the cat has puked all over my comforter.

Awesome.

Edited to add: As my child is feeling better, Obama is about to be sworn in, I have AAA and good health insurance (yes I'm knocking on my desk as I'm typing), I'm actually amused by all of this rather than irritated. Lucky Jon.

Edited again (!) to add: After a mere $75 diagnostic and a laundry list of things we should repair on the car, we learned that the light was "nothing." I can walk on my foot again, albeit gingerly. The associate at the doctor's office can get me in in 2 weeks. The cat puke cleaned up swimmingly. And as I was stranded at home yesterday with a bum foot and no car I got to curl up, watch the inauguration, and organize my to do list. It was worth it.

De-lurking Day and FFF (eyes)

I apparently missed that yesterday was national blog de-lurking day. I was clearly too busy with my giant meat cake (see yesterday's post.)

Oh, and for those of you are not regular blog readers, to de-lurk means you leave a comment and let me know you're visiting.

C'mon y'all I'd love to see who's out there keeping tabs on our silliness!

And I'm still trying to get that FFF thing going. Sarah started the Friday theme that ties so many of us. This Friday was EYES.

This is my favorite photo of Julian's eyes. I can't believe it's a year old.

Happy Birthday to Me (the author, not the grinning child.)

Jon's birthday was last week. We celebrated both of our birthdays with a lovely romantic dinner on Saturday. Then we met some friends for drinks after that to toast our birthdays but mostly to celebrate for Jon. As much as I want to dig into the story of that night right now, I'm not ready. But do check back, I'll post soon. It's a doozie.

And my birthday is today.

Honestly I've been feeling a bit unnerved by turning 40.
I know my life is great, it only gets better blah blah but it was just a bit tough, that's all.
Part vanity, part just feel like 40 is a lot of years to pass...
No yelling from those of you over 40 please. I know when I'm 50 this will seem like nothing. But here I am today, and it's a little hard.

Well for my birthday Jon got me a very thoughtful gift (he's more the last minute type so it's a big deal)- a personalized mini Flip video with a photo that I took outside of Flores, Guatemala on the actual Flip case!
And 3 beautiful photos from our recent family photo shoot mounted on bamboo. Beautiful.

Here are a few shots from that incredible photo shoot. The photographer/artist is Jen Downer of She Saw Things. I'll post more of them later.







Anyway, after hanging with my amazing little boy this morning I went to the spa for a facial, massage and mani. Heaven.

And then against all odds 11 of my girlfriends showed up for a happy hour snack even though I just sent out the invite a few days ago.

Then I got a phone call from my amazing girlfriend Stephanie who lives in Florida. She told me that she had a special surprise for me waiting at the local health food store.

I'm figuring it's a cake, but really, I'm not so into cake.
To me, things that are that sweet are icky, I'm more of an extra helping of organic meat and skip the dessert kind of girl.
I am marveling at how thoughtful it was, regardless.

I arrive at the store, walk in and go up to the catering area and tell them I'm picking something up but I don't know what it is. I give my name.
They all light up and start laughing.
They deliver me the box, tell me not to open it until I'm home, not to let it jiggle from side to side at all, and that when I open it I should imagine all of the people working on it having the most amazing time.
???!!! What the???!!!

Here it is.
A cake made of MEATLOAF
with CATSUP FROSTING
and "40" spelled out in BACON!






The perfect ending to a perfect day.

It's snowing again. And yet another loooong post.

The last week has been a joy as the snow finally melted and we got our sorry asses out of the house. But I am looking out the window and it is snowing again. Now don't get me wrong, I like the snow. But Portland is unable to handle even the slightest accumulation. The city is useless. Businesses close. Buses don't run. No one shows up for their appointments. In short, it sucks. The forecast is for it to turn to rain any minute now but I'm not counting my chickens. It is apparently very difficult to properly forecast here.

The last day of snow after xmas.


Julian's Chanukah gift from Nana and Papa.


Over the last snow, as I mentioned in my last post, we let Julian watch The Jungle Book. Remember how I said I was glad we caved? Well, I was WRONG. After days of begging for the movie again we had the brilliant idea to download a few of the songs from iTunes. Great idea, right? Again, WRONG.

There is a song from the movie called 'Colonel Hathi's March', otherwise known as 'The Elephant Song', or at our house simply 'Elephant March.' So cute, we thought, Julian wants to march like an elephant! Well it was cute the first 20 times, but I shit you not, after 3 days and a play count of 148 times it was not cute anymore. We're on day 12 and count 408 (thank you iTunes for pointing that out.) Oh, and did I mention that he wants us to actually march with him each time? On our hands and knees? Anyone have a fork I can stick in my eye? Thanks.

Marching into the zoo.


And btw, my sister keeps saying my boy looks like Mowgli from The Jungle Book. I thought for a while that this might actually be a bit racist...every indiginous kid looks like the character of the indiginous kid, right? Well, after seeing the movie, and seeing him running through the living room the next day, I get it, he looks like Mowgli, for real.



So last Friday I'm chilling out, it's 4:30 in the afternoon, we all had the day off, I'm still in my pajamas, and as a matter of fact I still have my breathe-right nose strip on from the night before. I mean really, I have a little cold and any little bit of extra clear nose is an immense relief, right? Anyway, the doorbell rings and it's a neighbor I've never met with her 4 month old. She's bearing holiday cookies. So sweet! I then try to explain, as I'm pulling off my nose strip, why I'm in my pajamas at 4:30 in the afternoon. And after I explain that no, there is nothing wrong with my nose, I just always sleep with them and I never really got out of my pajamas blah blah blah, I let her in. She was very gracious and came in, even though I'm clearly a weirdo.

Julian and Jon joined us and we all sat down on the floor with the kids. I mention Chanukah and realizing we're Jewish she says something about not knowing if the cookies she brought are ok for us- but that she's a vegetarian so she thinks they're alright. What I meant to do is say "Oh, we're not kosher anyway, we eat everything!" (smile) What I actually did, bending over backwards trying to make her comfortable, is try to explain that we're not kosher, we're really secular jews, that we even have a holiday tree and exchange gifts on Christmas then I blurt out "I eat pork about 6 times a week!" Which is followed by this very...long...awkward silence. Oops. Jon gave me the look which is meant to convey one word: "f-i-l-t-e-r." I'm not so good at that. Sigh.

And a few more bits of news.

1. Julian is learning to eat with kid chopsticks. He's awesome.


2. Jon has trained his new assistant.


3. Julian's nanny is taking a full time gig with her other family so we're going to transition him to a small local in home daycare the 3 days he'd been home with her. We found a great nanny but in the end being with other kids won out. We'll fill you in on that later.

4. I'm starting Latin guitar lessons! I taught myself some rudimentary guitar in college to accompany my singing. I've wanted to start playing again for a long time but the only music I can play is folk music, feminist folk music, lesbian folk music, lesbian-feminist folk music, and some children's music, none of which I'm really into playing anymore. So a few years ago we heard this amazing Latin guitarist named Alfredo Muro and I've decided to start lessons with him. I am so psyched! I pulled out my guitar last week- it's in tune for the first time in ages.



Sorry for the long post again. I'll try to get on it more frequentlly for the new year.
Love y'all.